A friend informed me that my inner monologues, when transcribed to paper/computer, are really quite confusing. I’m on the verge of an inner monologue and I want to see how true this is.
Me: Mwahahahahaha. 1.5 hrs til I have to go to the city.
Me2: What are you going to do?
Me: Eh. Facebook.
Me2: Your room’s kind of messy.
Me: What are you, my mother? Get outta here!
Me3: What about the kitchen?
Me: I hate you all.
Me3: Look, don’t rag on us just because we’re right.
Me2: Yeah, you have a red bucket in your room filled with paper.
Me: I will move that. Eventually… anyway, who cares?
Me2: Why don’t you have a snack? Kathryn bought you bread. You could attempt another omelette.
Me: Sounds appealing.
Me3: But you have to clean the kitchen to do that.
Me: I am not a maid.
Me2: You should hire one.
Me: HA! Have you looked at me?! I’m broke.
Me3: If you got a job….
Me: Oh, right, because people hand those out everywhere.
Me2: She does have a point.
Me3: I still don’t understand your aversion to cleaning the kitchen.
Me: You have to unstack the dishwasher, pack the dishwasher, unstack the drying rack, fill the sink, scrub aimlessly, then leave. AND THEN THE CYCLE STARTS AGAIN.
Me2: [facepalm] Oh no.
Me: Oh no, what?
Me2: You’re not going into your existentialist phase, are you?
Me: What? No! I believe there is more to life.
Me2: So the whole, ‘endless cycle of dishes’ is not pointing towards the fact that you’d really consider life a meaningless drudgery of tasks that have no redeeming qualities?
Me: My head hurts.
Me3: Mwahahahaha, you tell her.
Me2: [high fives Me3]
Me: Why must you two conspire against me?
Me2: Look, Tash, it’s your own fault. If you’d suggested something DECENT to do, we’d not be nagging.
Me3: Think of us as your Jiminy Crickets.
Me: Is drawing on my Converses a decent task?
Me: Attacking the killjoy?
Me: [sigh] Well. Perhaps we could… umm… clean the kitchen and eat?
Me2: You’re a bright one.
Me: Awwh! Thanks!
Me2: [raises eyebrow]
END INNER MONOLOGUE.
Now, I’ve just realised, this isn’t technically a monologue. But as the leads are all variations of myself, I’m keeping it that way.
I hope not.
(Kathryn, your phone calls telling me you’ll meet me at 2, rather than 1, and with slight concern over my sleeping habits prompt these.)