Things I'll most likely regret

Inspired by Alex Day/Dan Bergstein/recent release of fails/lady in the city wearing the shirt declaring 'I kissed a vampire and I liked it', I feel as though the time has come where I can read Twifail once more as enough time has passed from "Oh my gosh, everyone adores this, I must too, I am already a happy social pariah for my music, and it'd be weird if I were still socially leprous and happy, so I shall read and love" to my true emotion of such a piece of garbage.
Huh, I have just succinctly summarised my emotions of Twilight.
Anyway, the vampiric thing's getting really old, my copies of Twilight are shoved at the back of my bookcase (going to be angering to get out), so one last hurrah and one last attempt at me trying to make my eyes bleed and cry simultaneously.
I know what you're thinking. "It's Twilight. You've read it once. Why are you doing it again?"
Because I'm a masochist? I wouldn't like to say so, especially not in the first definition (I lean towards number two in that list if I were to be such a thing), but I think it's more I want to mock something, and I'm getting far too English-modey.
By that I mean deconstructing movies for giggles. For giggles.
I'm not going to jump on the Let's Blog Twilight bandwagon, cause Master Bergstein has that covered (and no way would I waste energy on that). I just want to see if in 4 days I can have those blasted things done, and be over with.
Then maybe I can read my Harry Potters, feel far better, and begin deconstruction again. Because that is the sad life of the English nerd. When we find symbolism, we get happy. Foreshadowing? Makes the heart pitter-patter. And that use of onomatopoeia and alliteration - well, don't get me started on how that is making me feel.
And there's also something weird about me: I read this and was spectacularly awed. Near enough awed that I considered running out to Kathryn and screaming (at 2.57am) "OHMYGOSHYOUWILLNEVERGUESS!"
But she'd kill me, rightly so, and I'm going to do my quiet time instead, cause God's not going to kill me and it's a fun thing to do.
Unlike Twilight will be. Oh gosh, why? Why?
Deep breath in... and move on.