Saturday, June 26, 2010

Dear Guitar Hero Enterprise, your censorship is disturbing.

So I am a huge procrastinator, and rather than cleaning my room/the kitchen (a long overdue task) I joined my brother for a bout of Guitar Hero.
Chris is intending on getting all the trophies for his various games, and these ones are proving a little difficult to get. This could be because he doesn't enjoy singing, and that's all he has left to get. Also, I suck at playing guitar. I'm okay, I guess, but I'm shoved onto the microphone because even if I can't sing properly, I at least can hit notes.
Anyway, Chris left to go to the city, and I was singing American Pie.
Bye, bye Miss American Pie, drove my Chevy to the levee, but the levee was dry, and them good old boys were drinking --- and rye...
What now?
Since when did whisky become taboo?
It's like in Pictures of You, The Last Goodnight, 'gun' is blanked.
But really, Neversoft, you've got to be kidding. What kid hasn't heard 'gun', 'whisky', or even anything worse? That level of censorship is a bit ridiculous. I can vaguely understand Sugar, We're Going Down having "I'm just a notch in your bedpost" censored. Actually, wait, I can't. This society we're in now, anything regarding sex is told in far worse terms than notches in bedposts.
Not saying it's a good thing, but it's quite strange that these terms are blanked out, while in one of the gigs, there are Cirque-du-Soleil-freaky women in cages/twisting from the ceiling. That's not giving negative imagery?
Despite cutting out the words, Neversoft, people are still going to understand what's missing from these songs. Your logic is really quite strange, because if you really want to make it work - why don't you take out the entire song? Sugar, We're Going Down is about sex - plain and simple. (Oh no. I said it. Quick, censor me.) Take out your carefully censored lyrics, and the song's meaning is still the same.
Off the top of my head, these songs are the ones which have a meaning you could complain about - and they still made the cut:
  • The Airborne Toxic Event - "Gasoline"
  • The All American Rejects - "Dirty Little Secret"
  • Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals - "Steal My Kisses"
  • Cheap Trick - "I Want You To Want Me (live)"
  • Dashboard Confessional - "Hands Down"
  • Devo - "Whip It"
  • Don McLean - "American Pie"
  • Fall Out Boy - "Sugar, We're Goin' Down"
  • Finger Eleven - "Paralyzer"
  • Hinder - "Lips Of An Angel"
  • Jackson 5 - "ABC"
  • Joan Jett - "Bad Reputation"
  • The Kooks - "Naive"
  • KT Tunstall - "Black Horse and the Cherry Tree"
  • The Last Goodnight - "Pictures Of You"
  • Lily Allen - "Take What You Take"
  • Maroon 5 - "She Will Be Loved"
  • Robbie Williams and Kylie Minogue - "Kids"
  • Spice Girls - "Wannabe"
  • Not saying that this game is evil, or anything. I love it. But it is ridiculous to attempt to censor some things, when the themes of the songs still have the same messages.
    In short, I would like it if when I sung, "whisky and rye", "notch in your bedpost", and "soldier with his gun" or however the line goes, I got full points for nailing all the words.
    Thank you.
    And now to go to GH5, where Neversoft was being brilliant, and not manufacturing idiocy containing far too much Taylor Swift and going on to make DJ turntables, while cutting out perfectly innocent phrasing.
    Not cool, Neversoft. It's never cool.

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