Onto other matters. The lovely Emily made reference to my writings, which is awesome, because she is awesome, and you can't help feeling a sense of glee at being referenced. Or, at least, I can't.
Emily writes about important things, I feel. In contrast to what I write, which is:
- The Occasional Rant, at time periods, people, lack of spelling ability.
- Pure And Utter Idiocy At 1am Where I Can Barely Think Let Alone Write, which has actually dwindled down in recent weeks. I'm going to put this down to getting a job.
- The OhmygoshPURTY Post, where I make reference to things that have inspired me. Such as the Sexing the Cherry post.
- Seemingly Pointless Updates And/Or Memories In My Life, which are generally embarrassing in nature.
Anyway, Emily writes about things such as politics, happiness, and les plaisirs de l'hiver, which I know what it means, and you may too.
So the extremely strange post I had going on was, yes, definitely personal. Not in regards to my everyday behaviour. The thing about Tashes, we put up guards, but we also do let people know - a lot - if we're upset/growling at the world. We operate on extremes. Psychotic way to live much? you say, scornfully, and sounding like Blair Waldorf. Au contraire, mes amis, it's a fantastic way to live. Gives you the ability to write characters so much better.
If you're not a writer/in the creative industries, I'm not sure how this would really benefit you, but I'm sure it would.
Anyway, the blog post was in reference to someone close to me dying. I really despise that word, dying, and I equally despise the words passing away. Dying is more honest. So, yes, a person whom I consider a family member died on Sunday morning, 5am.
I was woken up with the phone call, at about 9 (so sue me, I sleep a lot), and immediately called Kathryn, because that seems to be my reaction to most things. Mum's in hospital? Call Kathryn. Family member dies? Call Kathryn. Excitement over certain things? Call Kathryn, unless they can wait til I can attack Kathryn's MSN. Kathryn came over, gave me hugs while I sobbed, and then took me to the city.
She also took me to see Courtney's puppies, which I needed. I used to sit all the time with my dogs when I was sad, and Courtney's dogs were a nice substitute.
At the time I had written the post, it was 12.10am, as you can see. I was in a strange mood where I had cried to Kathryn, cried to Mum, been distracted all day then gotten home and felt strangely numb. That was the culmination of the day's emotion, because I have never experienced death before.
Positives to the situation, because I am attempting to do this more?
- He was in that so much pain, it's now ended. Thank goodness.
- Although it's under really depressing circumstances, I get to see my godmother and her family.
- I then also get roadtrips with my father, which are always awesome.
Uni has been going spectacularly well, although the assignment thing's getting a little annoying. I'm at a stage where I can't think of ideas. This unnerves me. For non-fiction, I can; fiction, I cannot. Something tells me that this is God going, "HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY, herein lies your career path."
Anyway, so. Yesterday my Lit. Studies tutor, henceforth referred to as Viv, reminded us of an impending assignment. We could either do a creative option, culminating in a short story that evoked issues of certain readings one could apply to a space, or an essay option, which explored these in a far easier way.
The assignment was, to find a physical site - e.g. cemetery, garden, house, dressing room - and explore different ways the site is read.
Sitting in the back corner of the room, I'm listening to Viv explain the assignment, and rave about the Gendered Bathrooms essay which we have as an example on Blackboard. One of the girls in the room asks about an idea she's got; I can't remember Viv's reaction because at this stage I've picked up a pen and started drawing.
I decide to choose a bridal couture shop for various reasons, and after the tutorial, I toddle over to Viv. "For my piece," I say hesitantly, "would a high-end bridal store be okay? One where the dresses are about $7000 each?"
Viv burbles about how brilliant this idea is for quite some time, and as we part ways, she says how excited she is to read it when it comes in.
I don't know, really, life's ups and downs are balancing out recently. Keeping me in perspective. I have better ideas of what I should be doing in my life, and God's giving me a path and reminding me what life's about. I'm excited for what life is giving me. Sad, in some regards, of course, but positives are in all situations.
Anyway, I just got paid. I need food. Stat.